I spent Saturday night having a tango/cooking lesson while the rest of the Midwest braced for a blizzard. I went into the lesson excited to cook, and very unexcited to tango. I would have been more excited to tango had there been cocktails upon arrival, but I made do with a great partner and the sense to laugh at myself.
First of all I was not dressed up for the lesson. The night before I had rocked a new outfit, including very awesome boots that unfortunately, Satan crafted himself. I was even carried at one point. But trust me, the boots are hot. I think that if I had just had a few more drinks I wouldn’t have noticed that 5 inches is perhaps too high for me. So I just wore regular tennis shoes with jeans and a sweater for the dancing/cooking lesson. One other person wore a similar outfit – everyone else looked liked they would fit in at a fancy restaurant or hotel bar. Oh well, I can tango in tennis shoes, no problem.
Turns out it’s hard to do the sexy, sassy tango in Reebok’s. Physically it is perfectly doable, but mentally I was unprepared. Imagine that you’ve agreed to go out with a guy that you didn’t really care either way if you saw, but then it turned into the most fantastic date ever and you realize that you haven’t shaved your legs and you’re wearing something from the Pink collection, instead of the Very Sexy. As our instructor was teaching us the move where you reach back with a foot, draw a semi-circle with your toe, and then seductively step through your interlocked legs, it dawned on me that Reebok’s were not doing the job. One talented student (who I suspected was a plant…I mean we were beginners here and yet she had questions about the dance and could do all the new moves with ease) was wearing knee high black boots that looked dangerous, yet sexy. Another woman was wearing black stockings with heels, something I would normally wag a finger at, but during the tango it really worked for her. I wondered what famous tango dancers did when they found themselves in impromptu dance sessions? Perhaps if they thought they were going to a self defense seminar but it turned out to be a surprise party celebrating their dancing accomplishments. I decided a real tango dancer wouldn’t allow shoes to hold her back. She’d be sexy and sassy in whatever she was wearing.
Except it’s hard to be sexy and sassy while wearing Reebok’s and being sober. I checked the clock; damn it was 6:30pm. Nobody else seemed to be jonesing for a martini. I mentioned this to my dance partner who kind of laughed but kept his head in the game. Side step, back step, tricky corner turning step….oh no, mind wandering….I could have sworn they said there’d be cocktails at this thing. I went back to thinking about my famous tango dancer who’d been tricked into the surprise dance party – I bet she could be sexy and sassy without alcohol. Side step, rock step, back step, sexy step through step….ah, ok this is it, channel your inner famous tango dancer. Our instructor should have told us that at the beginning. My partner was definitely channeling his inner famous tango dancer.
As I relaxed a bit and allowed my inner famous tango dancer out, I realized one of the best things about the tango is that I can blame almost everything on the guy. The instructor said as much! I was supposed to have complete trust in the lead and let him take me anywhere on the dance floor. Those who know me will not be surprised that I spent the first twenty minutes checking over my shoulder, unwilling to relinquish my independence. Fortunately for my partner, this got in the way of feeling our balance and I had to give in and let him push and pull me around the floor. That pretty much ended my responsibility for anything that went wrong. I was free to dance into people because I could just look at other girl and say in an exasperated voice, “I am so sorry, he led me right into you!” Of course I never did say that because nobody really wanted to talk to the girl in Reebok’s, but the point is that I could have said it.
I also discovered that you do not have to look deeply into your partner’s eyes during the tango. In fact, for a beginner it is actually encouraged to look at their chest. This makes it easier to feel the balance or something. I decided it also makes it incredibly less awkward. I stole a few glances around at one point and discovered that half the couples were completely ignoring this instruction and were smoldering at one another. I looked into my partner’s eyes and started laughing. No, not at him, at myself. I was having a hard time channeling my sexy, sassy, famous inner tango dancer while feeling the balance, giving up my independence, attempting toe circling in sneakers and then making eyes at my partner. I went back to looking at his chest and thinking about martinis.
After an hour it was time to stop dancing and start cooking. But wait! I just started to do the sliding up the leg move! Our instructor turned the music off. I frowned. Sexy, sassy, famous inner tango dancer frowned. I had learned a handful of steps and could actually do it! I had forgotten about my shoes and my jeans and the lack of alcohol - sexy, sassy famous inner tango dancer wanted more! My partner wanted more too; his inner tango dancer was equally crestfallen. Our instructor dismantled the iPod speakers and the chef called us into the kitchen. I thanked our teacher and began mentally preparing outfits for my next tango session. Yes, that’s right – I will definitely be doing it again! Sexy, sassy famous inner tango dancer already Googled it and figured out where to put the new skills to the test next weekend. Best part? It advertises a signature Tango Martini available during the 4-hour dance session.
What I think I can accomplish next weekned:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSdppc6HU84
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