Today I was wasting time on Facebook when I wandered across an interesting photo album. One of my ex-boyfriends recently had a baby with his girlfriend and it was all the photos from the hospital and the first few days of the baby at home. I have to say he is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen and I couldn’t help but smile at the pictures. However, while I was smiling at the adorable baby, I couldn't help but think I am happy my life took a different direction. If I had stayed with him, would I be the new mother? Obviously no one can answer that question, but it got me thinking about life decisions and how different two paths can be when you are at a crossroads.
Nearly a year ago I was at one of these crossroads. On one hand I had good friends where I lived and a great job with a lot of future opportunities. But I was unhappy and that great job was not nearly as fulfilling as it was two years ago. I had two options – continue with my life as usual, or make a change. I decided to leave the job, and my amazing girlfriends, and take off to explore the world. Along with choosing to attend UW-Madison, this is one of the best life decisions I have ever made. I experienced so many wonderful things and met so many great people!
Today I am at another crossroads. On one side is the life I’ll have if I decide to stay here in the states. On the other is the life I’ll have if I decide to continue my travels and live abroad. I think about this decision a lot, as both have their own advantages and disadvantages. If I stay here I can marry a guy I love and do the whole family in the suburbs thing. Some days this seems so attractive – I already know what sports the kids would play and which schools they would go to. On occasion I can actually see this future ahead of me, and it is a perfectly wonderful option. Dinners with a husband who adores me, tailgating with fabulous friends, attending weddings and birthday parties – how nice does that look? There are drawbacks with this option though; mostly that it doesn’t allow me to continue doing what I love. I think if I chose this option I would be happy, but I would also be unhappy because I couldn’t continue to experience new cultures and see new countries.
The other option gives all of the great parts of that other plan up in exchange for exciting travel and unique experiences. I don’t know if that future holds a husband or kids, and I have no idea where I’ll be living in 5 years. I know there will be love and happiness, but will I look back in 20 years and wish I had chosen a secure and happy life at home? Again, no one can answer the question. There’s no way to know you are making the right decision, and perhaps it’s because you can make each decision into a right decision. Excluding decisions to rob a bank or race a train, the decisions we make don’t ultimately decide everything for us. If I decide to become a permanent ex-pat, maybe I still can have the husband and kids and we’ll just have a different family experience from what most Americans have. I met a cool family like that in Thailand and they gave me a lot of hope.
I know a lot of my friends are at other crossroads in their own lives. Stay with the boyfriend or try life on your own for a while? Stay at that job or go back to school and be broke again? I want everyone to remember that although you can never change a decision, bad ones don’t have to ruin your life. When something seems wrong there usually is some light at the end of the tunnel. Good decisions don't take care of themselves either. If you take the fabulous job or marry your boyfriend you still have to work at maintaining happiness. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I try to stay positive and remember that my life is my own. I’ll make what I can of it and hope to God that my loved ones are there to support me if it all goes awry. As the saying goes, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
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