Mirror, Mirror

In July 2009 I was moving into an apartment with Kay and Kate, which of course meant lots of boxes and stuff strewn all over the apartment. Kay and I are similar in that we like common areas very neat, while our rooms look like a clothes bomb exploded. Kate on the other hand is organized and neat everywhere. Her room is only messy on Sunday mornings while she nurses her hangover and puts off hanging up the discarded outfits from the weekend. I should also tell you that anyone who has ever lived with me knows that I don’t care AT ALL how the apartment is decorated. Kay and Kate used to call me with questions like, “Should the dining room tablecloth be dark red or just red?” and I would promptly respond that I really did not care, pick whatever they wanted.  My room for the last two years has remained undecorated, and because of the 2009 Dresser Fiasco, I left most of my clothes in stacks on the floor. Basically, I do not care as long as I know where everything is and the kitchen is clean.

So we are moving in and the girls want to decorate with dark red and black in the kitchen, living room and dining room. I should say dining area – but really, it is the nicest apartment ever and I have to say they decorated the crap out of it. A year and a half later and it is still gorgeous. The only thing that looks awry in the whole darn space is the mirror I propped against the wall on moving day. It’s one of those long skinny mirrors that girls hang on the back of their closet doors so they can see your whole outfit. Except that before I could move it to my room, we noticed that it had magical powers.

Everyone knows, well at least all girls know, that there are some mirrors that make you look fat, and others than make you look like a supermodel. Most dressing rooms utilize the latter, which makes almost all home mirrors the former. You think you have this amazing dress and you can’t wait to wear it to the bar on Friday but then Friday rolls around, you throw it on, and gasp in horror. What happened to the outfit you bought at the store? Who is this girl? What is going on?!

Enter the magic mirror. The mirror I left standing against the wall that divides the living room from the dining area is one of those magic mirrors that makes anyone and everyone look phenomenal. Your legs look longer, your tummy is tighter, and don’t get me started on how good your butt will look. Throw on some heels and your reflection gets even better. Coupled with the extraordinary lighting in the apartment and I guarantee you will think your hair, make up, and outfit will stop traffic. I’m not sure how we first noticed this mirror’s magical powers – but the point is that we did. Every person who comes to the apartment stops to look in it. Kate’s mom even spends a few moments checking herself out when she comes to visit. This has led to the unspoken rule that no one can ever – ever – move this mirror. We had parties where we moved the couches and tables, but nope – never the mirror. We have a (perhaps rational?) fear that if we change the angle it will forever lose its powers. It just leans against the wall, day after day, telling us how wonderful we look.

Don’t jump to conclusions here; I don’t want you to think we are extremely vain. Just imagine all those times when you needed extra confidence before walking into a presentation, grabbing a drink with that special someone, or meeting up with an ex. This mirror tells you how great you look and that you’ll knock them dead. I know it seems crazy that I just dedicated an entire post to this mirror, but the fact is that I recently visited my old apartment and therefore, visited the mirror. Kay and Kate have left it exactly as I did all those months ago, and each new roommate they get also falls in love. The point of the story is that everyone should find a magic mirror. Fat days dissolve into happiness, and that dress you bought for New Years actually does look as good as it did in the store. I feel like if life were an adventure story, this mirror would be something your mentor wizard gives you before you set off to destroy a ring or save the world from evil. Forget that sword or deluminator, girls need a magic mirror in their arsenal come the QLC. 

The magic mirror in action.